How to fake confidence in 7 steps
On our last articles we explained a little about what is confidence, how to improve it and explained how self esteem and self efficacy are two complex concepts that can help you act and feel more confident in daily life.
But you might also be interested in a more immediate solution for an upcoming situation – maybe an important social gathering or job interview next week?
No problem, we organized a couple of tips to help you through it.
1. Make a list of your qualities
And make sure you adopt the most optimistic point of view when writing it down.
Making such a list will help you focus on your qualities and remember that you are, in fact, very good at a lot of things. Putting yourself in this mindset will help you feel better and consequently more confident.
2. Create a character
You don’t feel confident. Ok. But, what if you create a character for yourself? And what if this character is super confident? Collect a couple of personality traits for the self-confident version of yourself and when the time comes, play it!
How would you act when entering a room full of strangers?, How would you behave when someone approached with a question it doesn’t have the exact answer to? This is your chance to shine as Marlon Brando for a day.
3. Visualize it
Still not sure about how things will go? Visualization might be a great help in order to feel more confident. You can do it in your mind, the physical world or supported by technology.
Find a quiet space and allow yourself to daydream about how this event will happen: how you’ll interact with people, how you’ll manage uncomfortable situations or what message your body will be sending. Feel yourself into the situation and try different approaches on how to deal with every scary aspect of it. The good thing with imagination is that you can rewind or fast forward the scenes as many times as you need to get it right.
The same can be done in the physical world: you can create an image board with symbols that represent how you want to feel – a confident executive or a creative artist. It all depends on your goals.
In the virtual world, this board concept can be even enhanced: nowadays we find so many VR tools – like CoSpaces – where you cannot only create visuals for what you want to portray, but also submerge in them and have the closest experience possible to the real deal.
Feeling like you’ve already experienced this situation a hundred times – therefore like a pro – will certainly boost your confidence.
4. Dress for the occasion
We’ve already talked about the significance of dressing up on the blog. This is one very good example of how to apply that to real life. We are sure you have hidden at least one outfit in your wardrobe that makes you feel as confident and sexy as James Bond. So when dressing for the occasion, don’t forget to also dress for how you want to feel in it.
5. Mind your body language
And here lies the big secret: more than anything, your non-verbal communication gives away how you feel. How can your peers instinctively tell you are feeling insecure? A combination of fidgeting, shrinking down your body, avoiding visual contact and the so called powerless poses. We instinctively do them when we feel insecure.
Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy can explain it better than us:
6. Get out of the spotlight
Ok. Maybe at a job interview this might be a tricky action to take. But it can be a good strategy in many other occasions.
Nervous talking can be a big giveaway of how insecure you feel, so there are three tips for avoiding it: let the others speak – you might even be perceived as polite for that; ask questions about them – people tend to like talking about themselves; and pay compliments. Whenever you feel the pressure of the spotlight is about to bring you down, use one of these quick hacks.
7. Fake it til you make it
Repetition is the key: As the video explained, you need to expose yourself to as many situations like the one you are trying to avoid as possible. You will eventually start feeling the confidence you’ve been faking.
Real life doesn’t offer you as many chances for practicing? We have already mentioned how virtual reality tools can help: use them! Reproduce the situation in your mind or in technology and don’t stop faking and faking, until you finally make it!